Kawan

Kawan
Tercipta dari paksi yang sama,
Hilangnya, maka hilanglah kawan.

Maka janganlah engkau berpaksikan pada yang tidak kekal,
Kerana ia hanya sementara,
ia akan musnah bila tiba masanya.

Paksikannya pada Islam, paksikannya pada Allah,
Maka kamu memilik kawan yang tidak akan berpisah denganmu,
Sampai bila-bila

Terikat

Kamu seperti hantu
Terus menghantuiku
Ke mana pun tubuhku pergi
Kau terus membayangi aku

Salahku biarkan kamu
Bermain dengan hatiku
Aku tak bisa memusnahkan
Kau dari pikiranku ini

Di dalam keramaian aku masih merasa sepi
Sendiri memikirkan kamu
Kau genggam hatiku
Dan kau tuliskan namamu
Kau tulis namamu

Tubuhku ada di sini
Tetapi tidak jiwaku
Kosong yang hanya kurasakan
Kau telah tinggal di hatiku


A song by Dewa, entitled Kosong.
Lagu lama, tapi makna lagu tidak basi.

Steps taken

Selesai sudah RPD. Selesai sudah gelisah sejak hari raya memikirkan persiapan utk RPD. Mujur present depan Dr. Mokhtar, Dr. Zainal dan Dr. Masri. Diorg bagi komen nasihat yang aku perlukan, bukan marah aku buat tak betul. eheh. Habis sahaja presentation, aku sedar aku banyak tak tahu lagi pasal procedure nak buat research ni. Betapa pentingnya gantt chart yang selama ni aku pandang remeh je. (siyesly, sampai skang aku blur nape kena buat).

Anyhow, sume kena buat balik. Matlamat kena kukuhkan. Literature survey kena banyakkan. Jauh lagi perjalanan ni.

Research Proposal Defense

My research proposal defense will be on this friday, 9am, in front of Dr. Mokhtar Awang, Dr. Zainal Amri, Dr. Masri Baharom.

My preparation till this time? 10%.

Since? Um...before raya?

Bukan senang bila tiba-tiba dalam saat akhir begini, hasil kajian yang dilakukan selama ini kelihatan tak dapat nak membuktikan kemampuan utk mencapai objektif. Namun, mujur ade SV yang sangat komited, sama-sama cuba berfikir dan menjustifikasikan hasil yang ditermui.

Moga tiba waktu itu, aku sudah bersedia, untuk menjawab segala persoalan akan diperangi oleh panel2 tersebut.

Cuak? yes.

Rilek? yes, terlalu rilek. haha. HIMYM Season 5-6 diulang tengok sambil wat kerja. Belum kira Season 7 lg. heh.

A love

"You know best if she for fun time or life time. If fun time, make her a bestie and NEVER confess, cause it's not fair you keep her from others that want her for life time. If life time, make her yours and CONFESS rightly, cause you need to trust your instinct that she is worth the risk and fight, that she is meant for you, before somebody else gets her attention." (Bestie, 2012)

I've got a friend, a girl, who I were once accidentally make her love me, and later I've broke her heart by saying I've someone that I love, and excommunicate for a year, even we were in the same class, which later brought her to her new love, which then later they broke up, right after a big exam, and turn back to me, as a friend, then later a best friend and finally a bestie; a loving bestie. She understand me as I understand her, we share our thoughts for years, and we know our behaviour. Thus when I've a  love conflict, she knows what should be said, she knows very well.

In this few months, I've settled all doubt in this heart, regarding the people who I put trust on, and the people who I've crush with, and I forgot how it feels to have no one in mind after that done. But yet, it feels like something is wrong. In all the people that I've a mind of, there is only a person that respond positively. Yet, conflicts happened. She put a serious thought on it, not to be a lover, but to be a legal wife. This scares me. To talk about marriage that I don't even have mind about it yet, make this mind suffering from trying to make a conclusion. I don't even see the path that I will step on for this few years, it still blurry, but then, the person seems to urge me on thinking about it. Then I realized, I've made a mistake. As my bestie would say, "Don't confess because you are curious, the girl heart is not something that you can play with, if you're not ready, you'll make her suffered"